Helping Raise Stable Children

As I sit this morning with my coffee and take a look back, I see a journey of learning by hard knocks, trying and failing, learning from mistakes and refining the process.  I have also learned by helping others and watching their journeys. I see how God has ordered my steps and how he has used all of my experiences to write these children’s books and the coaching and teaching for Raise Stable Children in an Unstable World the Jesus has assigned.  He used my marriage and children, my job skills such as teaching and technology, and the teachings of many great leaders in the Body of Christ who walked before me.  He used my own healing journey, my prayer experience as I have ministered to others, and the traumas I see my children and grandchildren going through.  

This is not an easy or perfect world we live in, but a broken one on many fronts.  Children are especially vulnerable and when my grandchildren went through a divorce, the full impact of what that means rested squarely on me and my family.  We use the word "divorce" casually  in our society today, but many of our families are stressed and our children traumatized.  Like many things, it doesn’t sound so bad when it is someone else living it —no one’s pregnancy is as long as your own!  I have learned not to give easy, flippant answers and not to judge others, especially when I have not walked in their shoes.

When my grandchildren went through a divorce, I began seeing the same lies in the formation stage of childhood that I pray to help people dismantle later in life.  I told God, “I know you heal people later in life, but show me how to help them along the way so they don’t make life decisions based on these lies!”  When I looked for a book to help my grandchildren; but found none, the Lord said we would write them together.  Through the next 20 months, as a court case raged around the family, I completed and printed two books on the spiritual heart for children.  Why two?  Because the concepts would not all fit in one book.  The first book, Offense Get Off My Fence, is about guarding your heart from outside offenses and hurts.  The second one, Junk or Joy, is about feeding your heart good things from the inside by your everyday choices.  The third book, Taming Tongues, was recently published completing the  trilogy.  The message this book adds is how to direct your future while experiencing a peaceful present--with careful use of your words.

As harsh as it may seem, children from battered backgrounds need to know what their choices are when it seems there are no choices and they are complete victims of their circumstances.  Even children from good, stable families need tools to deal with life’s hurts in a healthy way that protects their hearts.  Even though these books were written against a backdrop of divorce, they are not specific to divorce—they are much broader. They are about prevention and healing for the traumas of life as they come so our children grow up stable in an unstable world with their heart intact.  This passion inspired me to offer a coaching class to help parents teach and engage their children in a variety of necessary life skills that are not commonly taught.  The books are also conversation starters on difficult subjects.

I am writing this blog to help unpack some of the meaning behind the concepts in these books for parents and grandparents as they step into their place of helping their children navigate life and come out healthy.  It is not written to make parents feel guilty about their short comings as we all make mistakes and must pursue our own healing and freedom as we break the cycle of generational bondage.  I hope this blog will bless you and your family and I welcome your comments and we travel this journey together.

Barbara

#raisestablechildren