No Voice LIES

I was raised that children should be seen and not heard!  What message does that give a child?  My book, Taming Tongues, is about how powerful our words are.  Prov. 18:21 says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” and James compares the tongue to a rudder on a ship (it is a small part that steers your life) and a small spark which can set your life on fire.  Words are important and we need to be careful what we say.  We can certainly be careless with our tongues, releasing both blessing and cursing with the same mouth (James 3:10).  We can both tear down and build up people with our words.  We can tear our children down by constantly dismissing them as unimportant and tempting them to believe the lie that no one listens to them or we can build our children's confidence by listening carefully to them.  Listening is as important a skill as speaking and they go hand in glove in effective communication.

On the other hand, many people believe they have no voice and what they say doesn’t matter because maybe they were raised in a critical home where their opinion was consistently dismissed or discounted.  As they go through life and this continues to happen, it reinforces the lie they believe and they even come to expect that no one will listen to them.  “Nothing I say or think matters".  "No one listens to my ideas.”  These are common lies that we believe growing up that block people from offering their thoughts or ideas.  Little children are full of enthusiasm and have big ideas.  As adults we have more experience sifting through our ideas, but we also tend to discount many ideas that could work.  This is especially true if we have had repeated failures or if our ideas were constantly “shot down” before they ever bloomed.  I know even now as an adult, I do not like to be around people who usually have negative reasons why something can’t be done or won’t work, even before the plan is seriously considered.  When Thomas Edison was asked about how he felt about his many failures before he finally discovered the light bulb, he answered that they were not failures.  Instead, they were successful at showing him what did not work!    

Even as I write this, I am aware that there are many different situations out there.  First, let me say that keeping your mouth shut is sometimes wisdom and survival when you are in a situation with domineering people, many of whom have anger problems.  A person would need to get out of that situation before they can work on regaining their voice.  This process often goes along with making decisions because if your opinion doesn’t matter, by inference your decisions are probably wrong.  This tearing down process is one reason it can be hard for people in abusive situations to get out.  The question now is where do you start?

DECONSTRUCTING LIES:

• One way is to start with choosing to forgive the person/people who tempted you to believe the lie that your voice doesn’t matter, being as specific as possible and realizing that it is a choice you make that invites the Holy Spirit in to accomplish that forgiveness.
• Second, you need to repent for believing or perpetuating the lie/s and, thereby, take your part of the responsibility.  Repent for wrong decisions or people you have hurt because of the lie. 
• Come out of agreement with the lie and ask Jesus to cancel all the negative consequences that have come about because of your belief in the lie. 
• Cancel any authority the enemy has in your life because of these lies. 
• Ask Jesus to show you His truth to replace the lie and to give you new expectations and new ways of responding to situations. 

Then receive His truth and find scriptures to battle with.  When breaking lies it is important to realize that you have probably had those thought patterns for some time—a record or tape that has played in your mind over and over through the years (self-talk).  The prayer above will invoke Holy Spirit’s help and you can ask Him to remind you when you start rehearsing the lie and feed you the truth.  It is very powerful to find a few scriptures that speak God’s truth about your situation so you have the truth to speak out loud when you catch yourself rehearsing the lie/s.  If you can't think of anything else in those moments when the lies seem overwhelming, just speak "Jesus" over your mind.  You are waging the battle that is in the mind, taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ!  (2 Cor 10:5)  If you need help with this process, Raise Stable Children coaching is available.  For scriptures to use, see the appendix in Offense, Get Off My Fence. 

Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” 

Proverbs 4:20-22 says the Word of God is life to those who find them and health to all their whole body.

Jesus battled Satan in the wilderness with the word of God, saying each time He was tempted, “It is written. . .”  So feed your soul (mind, will, and emotions) the truth of God’s word about the lie and you will find that it fades into the distance as your confidence grows!

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