TIME Boundaries

In last week's blog we discussed building healthy, picket fence boundaries to help choose and balance relationships.  It is a picket fence because the spaces let your heart breathe in the necessary good things and the boards keep out the bad, hurtful things in life.  This is a healthy boundary because good comes in to nurture your heart and bad stays out to protect your heart.  This week we will look at establishing boundaries around our time and resources.

Once we have developed healthy relationship boundaries, we can use the same principles to help make and manage time priorities.  A very hard word for me to learn was "NO".  But busyness is a time robber.  We all have the same amount of time and how we use it is somewhat up to us.  I say it this way because we know we need to work, go to school, study, etc.  However, we also volunteer our time for many other things because we can't say NO or we feel we have to offer some excuse.  It is very freeing to realize that a simple NO without an excuse is perfectly acceptable.  Or you can say you will pray about it, but if you feel it isn't best, don't waver as they try to "talk you into doing it their way".  We can miss God's BEST for us by choosing what looks GOOD to us.  Next time you volunteer your time and effort, ask Jesus if it is His best for you.

One of the first things I truly gave the Lord was my schedule because it was so hectic!  It was such a faith builder to see how He rearranged certain things, cancelled certain things, and added certain things.  Once I took my hands off, it was so successful that to this day when I am presented with a scheduling change or conflict, instead of getting anxious or frustrated, I turn it over to the Holy Spirit and watch Him work it out.  My attitude has changed from frantic that I lost control to curious about what the changes will bring--like the saying, "When God closes a door, He opens a window."

Healthy boundaries around our time helps prevent us from performing for others in order to make them happy.  It is important to recognize why we perform and to deal with any lies, vows, or judgments around these roots.  We voluntarily do many things to make others like us, compliment us, elevate us or make us "look good".  Remember that even God rested on the Sabbath and wants you to take care of yourself and honor His "temple".  Learning to say NO is self-control and that is a fruit of the Spirit so ask Him to help you in this.

Sometimes it is our expectations of ourselves that is the hardest to manage.  I used to have a "to do" list longer than the day, each and every day, and I went to bed exhausted and guilty for not getting everything done.  When I first started spending time with the Lord, I could hardly sit still for 5 minutes and I was pleased with that.  I am happy to say that this time has multiplied as I have come to have a closer relationship with the Godhead.  When I have a lot to accomplish in my day, I cannot afford NOT to pray.  That is now a priority for me and I set a healthy boundary around that time.  I am not perfect nor religious about it, but it is important enough to make it happen.  Then the rest of my day goes much smoother.  It simplifies many everyday decisions as I study the scriptures and find out what the Holy Spirit teaches about my money, stewarding my time, taking care of my body, and where His priorities lie.  Then I know what He thinks about how I spend my time. 

I have learned over the years of applying these principles, that family is a high priority in God's eyes.  Because of that I now cancel and move my schedule to accommodate my parent's, children's, and grandchildren's needs.  This does not mean their time is more valuable than mine, but when they really need help or I know it would mean a lot to them for me to be somewhere, I definitely try to do it.  For example, when my presence at my grandchildren's recitals or meets is important to them, it is important to me.  My children are self-supporting and do not take advantage of my husband or myself.  Therefore, when I see something I can do to make their life easier or to support them physically or emotionally, that is a priority for me. 

The other side of the family coin is rescuing people over and over who seem to take advantage of your time and resources and don't change their attitudes or behaviors.  This is where we need God's wisdom on what is the most loving thing in that circumstance.  Continually rescuing people tends to cripple them to the point that they cannot take care of themselves or face their responsibilities.  Even in this priority, it is a balance that God will help you with. 

All these points boil down to dealing with people and resources by setting priorities with time and resources.  I can tell when I have poured out more than He is filling up.  At the point, I know it is important to rest and have some fun.  You can only give away what you have so as you love, honor, and take care of yourself; you will have more to give away to others!  If you push yourself too hard, you will burn out and be incapable of doing even the small things.  The first greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.  The second one is to love others as you love yourself.  Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and should be taken care of, but your soul and spirit are just as important.  When you take care of your whole being, body, soul and spirit, you will have much more love to give others.

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