4 Common Identity-Stealing LIES

Childhood experiences sometimes teach us to believe things about ourselves that are false and steal our identity.  The longer we operate out of those false beliefs or lies, the more entrenched they become in our thoughts and the more we make decisions out of them.  In my experience of praying with people of all ages for emotional healing, there are what I will call common categories of lies, but most of these categories deal with the way the person views him or herself.  Our identity in Christ is the one thing the enemy tries to destroy from an early age because he knows that if we knew who we truly are in Christ, we would be a powerhouse to contend with!  The Bible says much about what God says about us, who we are in Christ, and who Christ is in us!

The first category of identity stealing lies I will call the “unworthy” lies.  There are many, but they all have the message that the individual is unworthy of love.  This happens when they are or perceive that they are not wanted or not loved.  Rejection and abandonment is the seedbed of this category of lies.  As children grow up, they feel unworthy of love from other people, from God, and from themselves.  This often translates into self-hatred and because they are unworthy of love, they often enter abusive relationships that reinforce the lies.  There is a full spectrum of consequential behaviors from mild self-hatred, to abusive relationships (because they don’t deserve anything better), to deadly addictions to medicate the pain.

The second common category of lies I will call the “can’t do anything right” lies.  When a child is raised with a lot of criticism, they believe the lie that they can’t do anything right.  This can lead to various behaviors like reluctance to take risks or try new things.  Another behavioral response is to try to be perfect to be accepted.  Inconsistent, uncertain discipline or discipline in anger, convinces children that everything bad is their fault.  Sometimes they have been the scapegoat in the family and sometimes they have been unfavorably compared to a “more perfect” child.  One child might totally rebel with great anger while another might be a perfect performer.  They develop a chameleon personality and try to be all things to all people, but loose who they really are in the process.  They stuff their anger until it starts leaking out of every pore.  There is a broad spectrum of abuse at the root, from mild misconceptions to horrible abuse.  They think that if people knew who they really are, no one would like them.  Therefore, they put up a polished front for others, but are completely different with their close relationships.

The third common category of lies, I will call the “mistrust - trust” lies.  When a child experiences repeated disappointments from people in authority whom they should be able to trust, they become reluctant to believe anything anybody tells them.  This comes from insecurity and not feeling safe.  They have to take care of themselves because no one else will or has.  They often burn out making sure that everything is under control so that their world is predictable and safe.  The longer they are “on duty” the more tired and worn out they become.

The fourth common category of lies I will call the “have no voice” lies.  When no one listens to them, people consistently discount what they think or say, or they come from a very controlled environment; they believe some kind of lie like “No one listens to me” or “No one cares what I think.”  They feel they have little or nothing to add and that everyone else’s contributions are better than theirs.  The consequences of this category of lies are that they are followers and can be easily talked into doing things that others say to do even when they don’t think it is a good idea or it is detrimental.  They are either quiet and don’t contribute or they are loud know-it-alls who are insecure, but trying to look like they know everything.

Why do these lies steal our identity?  Because they give us a distorted image of who we are and they contradict what God says about us.  There is no particular order to these categories.  Every person is unique and comes from different backgrounds.  I offer coaching called RAISE STABLE CHILDREN IN AN UNSTABLE WORLD that teaches parents about their lies and offers help overcoming them.  Once parents recognize and overcome their lies, they can recognize and help their children walk free as well.  The categories of lies I have listed here are all demonstrated in my book, Offense, Get Off My Fence, along with ways to counteract the lies as they are being built.  As Joyce Meyer’s teaches, The Battlefield is in the Mind.

Each category has a wide variety of root causes, a full spectrum of intensity, and a wide variety of consequential behaviors.  These behaviors swing from one extreme to the other depending on the intensity of the lie and the innate personality of the person.  Scripture has a lot to say about who we are in Christ and when we realize and believe that truth, we will walk in the freedom, peace and confidence we were made for and our image of ourselves will no longer be distorted. 

#raisestablechildren         #makingJesusreal